You look around and there are many people who have what you want, but are unable to achieve and you wonder why you can’t have it. Ever feel like that? I do. A lot!
One year and a month ago today I was let go from my job at PMCS-ICAP. Still no job and a few less friends since then. I’ve learned a lot this year. I’ve learned people are not to be trusted to keep their word. I’ve learned that God has everything in control and I just need to lean on Him for everything. I have found a great Church family who loves me as I am. They want the best for me and don’t try to make me be who they think I should be. For years I listened to those who would only accept me if I changed to be who they wanted me to be. No more. God made me who I am today, through all the ups and downs in my life, He molded me to be who He created me to be. Do I still have room for improvement? Sure. I’m working on that. However, no one has the right to tell me that I have to become someone else or tell anyone they should change from who they are. When a child is constantly compared to someone else, their spirit is crushed and they begin to feel that they just don’t measure up. In today’s society, little girls are told that if they aren’t skinny, have beautiful hair, teeth or smile they aren’t good enough. Other girls and sometime boys bully them. Adults see and hear about it and most don’t do anything about it. This needs to stop. There have been too many kids who have committed suicide because of bullies.
So, while I am still under construction by God, I will mess up. I will stumble and fall. I will keep going on as that is whom I am. I want to be who God wants me to be, not whom someone else says I should be. I will continue to be friendly and giving, though now I am very careful whom I give to. I am tired of the narcissists in today’s society who think nothing of taking from others and then treating them like manure. My love and time are more important to me to waste on people who don’t appreciate it. I will continue to pray for them, but will have nothing to do with them. These are the people who have drained me and made me doubt God’s love for me. I feel sorry for them as they repel those who would love them and be close to them. I really feel sorry for their kids if they have any because the kids will have a tainted view of what life is about, unless they have someone who is stable and full of God to come along side and guide them to God’s love and will for their life. Many tears have been shed over what the kids have had to endure at the hands of the narcissists of this world. What is more sickening is when the narcissist says they are a godly person and then continually manipulate situations and ruin other relationships with those manipulations and disregard God’s word and outright lie about things so that they can have what they want and injure the psyche and spirit of children that are around them. My prayer for these types of people is that God will get a hold of them and show them what they have done and lead them to where they can admit to themselves that they need help.
A poem that has helped me through some of the darkest times for me is below. Hope you all enjoy it and that it will help you as much as it has helped me.
In Hours of Discouragement, God Is Our Encouragement
Helen Steiner Rice
Sometimes we feel uncertain
and unsure of everything—
Afraid to make decisions,
dreading what the day will bring.
We keep wishing it were possible
to dispel all fear and doubt
And to understand more readily
just what life is all about.
God has given us answers,
which too often go unheeded,
But if we search His promises
we’ll find everything that’s needed
To lift our faltering spirits
and renew our courage, too,
For there’s absolutely nothing
too much for God to do…
For the Lord is our salvation
and our strength in every fight,
Our redeemer and protector,
our eternal guiding light.
He has promised to sustain us,
He’s our refuge from all harms,
And underneath this refuge
are the everlasting arms…
So cast your burden on Him,
seek His counsel when distressed,
And go to Him for comfort
when you’re lonely and oppressed…
For in God is our encouragement
in trouble and in trials,
And in suffering and in sorrow
He will turn our tears to smiles.